It shows up when:
- A boss gives you space to be creative at your job.
- A mother watches her child playing in the park.
- You let a dog run freely while keeping an eye on what it does.
- We redirect the flow of a river so that a village doesn't get hit with the next storm.
In all these expressions, people are STILL using their power!
It is not control.
It is protection!
- You don't limit the employee's creativity.
- You don't hold the child by the hand.
- You don't keep the dog on the leash.
- You don't stop the river from flowing.
What's the result?
It's not being stopped or limited!
That's one of the most subtle distinctions you can make when using your power in life.
How much control is REALLY needed to keep you safe.
Do you need 5 locks or just one?
Do you really need a high fence?
See the point?
In life, controlling power is a joy killer!
It destroys spontaneity and complicity because what partners, friends or family members really tell each other when they use it is:
"I don't trust you! I don't think you are grown up enough to make your own decisions!"
Using control on your someone else usually means SERIOUS TROUBLE!
What's the alternative if you don't want to lose your power?
Well, you still can use your power but in a different way.
Your open space around someone.
You sponsor their freedom.
You let go of trying to control their actions, beliefs or time!
You have very specific language patterns stimulating freedom and respect in other people.
We'll check some in another post.
To your power!