Mar 23, 2009

I have lots of negativity in me

I have lots of negativity in me... What can I do?


Negativity is a form of frustration. It is an energy wanting to find it's way out but not managing to breakthrough.

Negativity is something you can live with for many years. This is why some negative thinking is perfectly okay.

Sometimes you feel some pain on your left shoulder. This does not stop you from enjoying your evening. You might find it slightly disturbing but you did not reach this breaking point of wanting to do something about it. You think: time will simply heal it.

With negativity, it is the same. You know that your mind is not 100% effective but well, it's not too bad and you can easily keep it the way it is.

At a certain moment, you might reach a new milestone: this is when it becomes too much and you decide to do something about it. You might realize it sabotages your life or destroys your chances.

This is the moment a coach can help. Coaching focuses on performance. What you have is not good enough. You want more. Coaching requires an investment of time, energy and money.

Why? Simply because change requires energy. When you decide to shift something you start fighting the existing patterns. This is your comfort zone; it is your mind base, your belief system, your mind patterns, habits and behaviors. If you want to shift the way your mind functions and put an end to negative thinking, you have to overcome natural "freezing" forces.

These forces are natural preserving forces which stop you from falling apart. They are what keeps your body together. They are what sustains your thoughts, your life, society, etc. They are stabilizing forces in your mind.

When you decide to shift something in your mind, you call upon a new type of energy: It's called renewal power. This is what drives the cycle of the planets and seasons. It is the force of evolution which keeps you moving.

When you decide to get rid of negative mind patterns, you connect with a renewal power. This force will have two effects: the first effect is to destroy useless existing patterns. It's clearing the space for the new. The second effect is to create a new mind set which is conductive for positive thinking.

Every time you move forward in your life, you step beyond your comfort zone. This means taking at least a small risk. Why is this a risk? Because you might not really know where you are going. You have a clear intuitive feeling. Your instincts tell you that this is the right move. You can't always reason it but you know it is the right thing to do. You go ahead and trust your intuition.

What stops you from doing that today? The fact that your mind is already busy with other things. Take again the example of this pain in your shoulder. It might be something you are reminded two to three times a day when you make a wrong move. It does not stop you from going on, so you simply tolerate it.

The moment you take a step and go to your local chiropractor, you say : "stop", "enough", I don't want to go on like that. You create time to see your chiropractor. In other terms, you make it your priority number 1 at least for a couple of hours.

With negative thinking, it is the same: the very reason why it is there is because a part of you is tolerating it. It bothers you a bit but your still accept it.

The moment you say: "enough!", "I want more!" this is the moment things start shifting.

Let's go back to the chiropractor who will help you with your shoulder. You don't want to deal with just anyone... You want an expert and if possible the best expert. You basically want something which works. If you think acupuncture works better, I am sure you would go for it as well.

What you want is simple: results.

You don't want to invest into something which has little chances of working. You want to invest when you know you get results.

Most people who walk around with lots of negativity fail in three things:
They don't make it their priority number one
They miss an effective method, system or technique
They are isolated in their effort
Isolation is one of the great limiting forces. It simply means that you are trying to reinvent the wheel by yourself. This is fine if you have plenty of time. On the other hand, if you need to get there faster because you are ready to move on and focus on what truly matters, then targeted support will make a huge difference.


This is truly the key! It is to have some form of strategy or technique to transform negative thinking. Once you decide to make it your priority number one, that's the next challenge.

You can try emotional release therapy, mood enhancers, life style changes or positive psychology. You can buy a few books on personal development or engage yourself on a spiritual journey. There are many choices. Most of these techniques are valid to a certain extent. The question is how to choose? Do you have to try them all?

Use your feelings and intuition. Your instinct is what guides you with these choices. It wakes up a feeling, an impression and you simply go for it. The next natural step it to trust.

Endless doubts and hesitations are another form of negative thinking. The best way to find out is to experiment.

Now, what I want to do is save you experimenting time and come with something which works at 100%. Honestly would you buy a book where 15 pages are missing? Unless the product you buy delivers what it promises, I would say: Move on.

This is why I am beyond the phase of experimenting. I am not trying these methods on you. This system has been tried and experimented earlier.

This method works using a very simple truth: You have natural powers you are not using. By powers, I don't mean magical abilities. Power is one of the most basic forces in your life. The way you use it directs your moods and feelings. Your level of power will dictate the way you feel about yourself; it will give you as well the energy to protect your mind space.

The reason why negative thoughts arise in your mind is simply because you miss power. A negative thinking loop is the reflection of an inner conflict. It is the conflict between two energy realities: on one hand you have your desire, will power and ambitions. On the other hand you have a set of opposing forces which stop evolution from taking place.

When you increase your power, you simply give yourself the energy to breakthrough and win.

Sometimes though you are not sure if you want this "inner conflict to end". The idea of winning means that the conflict is over. The truth is that you can sometimes get used to this inner battle of energies. It can be energizing. It creates fire, stimulates your fighting power and keeps you going.

Why is it that two neighbors will keep a conflict alive for 27 years? It's very simple: because a part of them wants it. A part of human nature enjoys fighting. It wakes up a force, a conquering power.

Some people do base their whole life on this dynamic: they consciously create conflict to generate energy. It's part of human nature. They simply don't know what to do with a flightless space. Their whole energy base or emotional foundation evolves around the dynamic of conflict. In a way conflict is the force which keeps them alive. Give them peace and they'll hate it. They'll find a way of creating conflict again simply because this is what they are used to. They simply don't known anything else.

This could be your challenge as well: Negative thinking patterns generate energy. You might have got used to this ongoing inner battle and the idea of shifting this mindscape is somehow scary. Why is that? Because you might not be sure what is on the other side. It is like stepping into a new land.

Your mind has a natural need to evolve and this is the force which pushes you to move forward. The moment you connect with renewal power, your recognize the freshness of a new breeze.

The moment you decide to move is a very symbolical one. This renewal force carries you forward and by connecting with it, you naturally choose to go for it.

This inner move is what makes the real difference. It is an awakening or a realization of your true potential.

A coaching session is the process of helping you connect with your natural powers. 90% of it simply flows by itself and there is no actual "technique" involved. I can give you tools to reinforce and wake up your power but life itself does its work. You simply connect with your natural sources of power and apply them to your life.