Mar 23, 2009

I can't say "no"

I can't say "no"



I can not communicate effectively with people or public and the second one is i can not say "no" to anyone, so in this way i have wasted much of my time. How can i overcome my this problem. plz

-------------------

Hi,

In both situations, what you need is extra power and confidence.

When you say "yes" to someone when in fact you want to say "No", it's their power against your power. You say what they want to hear and your loose "the battle".

How to shift that?

The reason you say "yes" is because you don't want to hurt anyone. You are afraid that if you express yourself, you'll simply start a fight or a conflict.

People can get upset. The reason they get upset is because they loose control over you actions.

They realize they are not getting what they want. Them getting upset is their way of fighting with your own will power.

When you give a message to an audience (with public speaking), it is the same dynamic. You have a message you want to get it through and you feel psychic resistance. This impacts on your mind and emotions. Makes you doubt, sweat. Stage fright.

Can you see how in both cases, all you need is extra power?

The question is :"where can you find this extra power?"

Good news! It is already in you. You are simply not using it.

Imagine a dense forest. Reaching the place of power in you is like creating a path in that forest. You need to clear vegetation and simply open the way.

These pathways you open in your mind are power channels. they are the power architecture in your mind which allow energy to flow freely.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Another answer

The only thing you need is extra power and confidence, right?


Where can you find it? you have extra power already in you. The truth is that you don't dare using it yet. You are afraid to hurt others by rejecting them. The truth is that when you put aside what you want, you betray your own spirit: yourself.

When there is a battle of energies, there not not need to be a looser. Everyone can win. When you are able to deliver your message to an audience, it's everyone who wins.

When you say no to someone, you are simply saying: I have other priorities. It might mean: I need to spend more time with my wife, I have another client on the line, I need to study, I need to go out and have some fun.

If you want to say "no" without hurting, you can say: "Look, I would love to help you with that, but I can't... I have an appointment in 5 minutes and I have to go". When you tell people why you can't say "yes" to them, everyone understands and accepts better.

You are respectful and don't want to hurt anyone, now protect your mind space, personal space, your time. You are in charge and in control of your life. No one else is. It is your right to use that power.

Good luck and stay in touch

Francisco



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another answer

The extra power you look for is already in you. You were born with it. The reason you don't express it is because you are afraid of going to battle.

Right now, you are missing daily opportunities, not taking your chances because you don't dare speaking from your own core.

You have that power. Express it. Say no when you want to. You'll feel great as soon as you do.

Nothing and nobody can stop you. It is your birth right so express it.

Going on stage? the same! You can take the sword and go on stage right now. You are confident and successful and are able to deliver your message to any audience!

You know your target. You know exactly what you want. So, do it!

Your mind is clear! You are perfectly aligned. You are in charge! You are in power!

You can do it anytime, anywhere. You are diplomatic and even when you say no, people still respond to you in a friendly way.

This is your nature. It is your mind frame. It is your essence and the core of your being and obstacles have disappeared forever.

take care and stay in touch

Francisco