Mar 23, 2009

Connect with someone

To connect with someone, the best is to make a move. It does not really matter what. It is essential to take action and let the person know about your interest.

The first move has to be light open and free. It has to be specially non-demanding.

Start by saying hi and smile to the person when you see her or him. Next step would be to share a few words. Once you make a move, slightly step back and give space for the person to respond in their own time.

If you insist in the beginning, you'll sound, clingy, attached or desperate which are big turn offs both with dating and friendships.

Lightness, fun to be with, these are the qualities most people would look for in the original contact. Show your good side first. Be confident and make a move.

This first step is always a break the ice step. There is always a small risk involved because the person might not respond the way you expect. This does not matter. Don't focus on the outcome, focus on the fact that you took a step. This is what truly matters. This is what builds up your confidence and your social skills.

The only people who never get rejected are the ones who never take a step.

Connecting is a skill you can learn and develop. How do you learn it? By practicing and repeating the experience often. If you don't want to miss a chance with someone special, as a practice, try connecting first with a few people you feel as non challenging.

If you want to connect with someone you deeply admire, bring them down from up there in your mind. It will make it easier to connect if you see them as they really are: a human being like you and me.

Enjoy!